Archive for July, 2008

Tie Knots-Part 1

Monday, July 28th, 2008

There are five legitimate ways to make a tie knot, not counting the bow tie. From largest to smallest they are as follows: Windsor, Half-Windsor, Prince Albert, Four-in-Hand, and the Small Knot. Some will tell you there are six, including the Cross Knot, but most people of decent breeding will tell you that the cross knot is simply a botched version of the Half-Windsor. Instead of making up new ways to tie their ties, these six-knot citizens should go work at a soup kitchen.

With that gristle out of the way, now for the meat of the story. First we must learn to tie the five knots. Brooks Brothers has come up with a great lesson plan on knot tying. Find an old tie that you don’t mind wearing out, and get these down. In modern society tie knots are as important as sailing knots were to the ancient seagoing people of Crete. The Cretans used knots to hold the sails that propelled their ships. We use knots to hold our heads on, so that we can be propelled into the stormy sea of business.

In Part 2, we will learn how to use these knots in our everyday life

r designo ties one off

The Generation Gap-An Easy Fix

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008

I hear talk lately about the generation gap. It keeps getting bigger and I blame child labor laws. After being coddled their entire lives, today’s youth are suddenly thrown into the work place once they get kicked out of college. This just isn’t good enough.

Child Labor Laws came about to protect the elderly and the washed-up from having their jobs taken by children. These incompetent chumps are being protected from ambitious young people, who would steal their jobs as coal miners, milk delivery personnel, and oil executives if not for these outdated and cumbersome regulations.

Child Labor Laws are causing the generation gap to widen and need to be repealed. Before these laws, generations of men and women would work side by side as equals. Each generation being immersed in the rich culture of the previous generation, as they came of age in the work place. Today these laws have caused generations to fall out of sync with each other, with each generation inventing its own hodgepodge of untempered ideals. This is the source of most of today’s problems.

These laws only benefit people whose jobs could be done by children, and hurt society as a whole. Seriously, if you call out sick and get replaced by an eight year old, that’s your problem.

Hey Kid, Get Back to Work! Don\'t let some geezer take your job.